Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
