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Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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