you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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