A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Still dying that you shit outside
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize