i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
