Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
