he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
