We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize