sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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