you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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