Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
