We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize