Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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