so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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