she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
