turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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