Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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