I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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