What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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