i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
