If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
