"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
