i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird