the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?