Duck Duck Cougar?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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