Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.