nut hugger
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
