she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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