all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize