Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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