Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
