it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize