Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize