I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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