i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
