R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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