I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
