No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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