oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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