So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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