Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
