come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
