i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
