Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think i got beer on your cat.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
