I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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