Where is the hickey?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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