YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
