you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize