Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
