I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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