Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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