i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
