dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
