he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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