u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
