At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
