What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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