We're facebook friends in real life
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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