we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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